We've all heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child." With that in mind I thought why not create a blog for parents to share their trials and tribulations in raising our children. We are all in this together. Our children are our future so it is in everyone's best interest to raise repsonsible, intelligent, kind, compassionate human beings. This blog is meant to ease the stress involved with this tremendous responsibility we call parenthood. These little munchins don't come with a handbook but we can certainly benefit from tried and trued experiences. What works for you? What didn't work for you? What would you do differently? What would you do the same? This is a journey that we can help each other along the way.
Our story begins in a small town in northeastern PA. Scranton is in fact a real place and not just the name of a t.v. show. In Novemeber of 2009 I took a pregnancy test at our house while my husband was at work. It was just me and our two dogs. (Tip #1 take the test when he's home...it is brutal waiting for him to get home from work)...much to my surprise it was positive. I was 37 and had thought I was unable to have children...well surprise surprise...My husband is 29 years my senior and already has 4 grown children of his own so for him surprise just doesn't cut it.
My first trimester was very smooth. I was under the care of my ob and a specialist due to my age. Anyone over the age of 35 is considered high risk. The cool thing was my friend and I found out we were due a day apart. She was due July 19th and I was due July 20th. It was great having each other for support. We went to appts. together and did the glucose test together. It's a lot more fun when you share with a friend. :)
A second trimester ultrasound showed that my placenta was covering my cervix. The specialist was very calm and asked me if anyone had mentioned anything about my placenta. I had to chuckle to myself because my first thought was "no we generally don't discuss placentas around the lunch table..." (tip # 2 have a sense of humor...it does wonders). She calmly explained that the placenta should travel higher up in the uterus. She went to explain that is was nothing to stress over at the moment because often times by the end of the second trimester the placenta will have moved into the correct position on its own. She told me that I could no longer have sex ( of course my husband was not at this appt. so I thought for sure he was going to think I made that part up) and then she said and I quote "don't stick anything up there..." Well there is something you don't hear everyday...Again the voice in my head burst out laughing...I didn't dare ask exactly what she thought I might stick up there because I am sure she has seen it all. I reassured her that this Irish Catholic girl was in no danger of "sticking anything up there." She ordered another ultrasound to be done in 3-4 weeks.
So three weeks later I was back. My placenta still hadn't moved into the right position and was completely covering my cervix (sometimes it will only partially cover the cervix). So I was told that I would have to have a c-section. She explained that I could hemmorage and if I saw any blood at all to call the doctor immediately and explain that I have placenta previa. She didn't want to scare but she also wanted me to know this was not something you messed around with or waited to see if the bleeding stopped. I continued working until the day of April 28th. When my first graders went out for recess I called my doctor to tell her my hands were extremely swollen, I was very thirsty and sweating like crazy. I had remembered them telling that if my hands swelled to call righ away. They told me to leave work right then and go directly to the hospital. (tip #3: probably not a good idea to drive yourself...I did and was fine but in hindsight I would have asked a co-worker to take me). I met my husband on the 5th floor...Labor and delivery. He looked like a deer in the headlights. I was strangely calm. I guess I knew God was with me. I could actually sense a protective energy around me. The triage nurse hooked me right up to a monitor. My blood pressure was through the roof but after a bit she asked me if I felt any pain. I said I didn't. She then explained that I was having contractions. This was my first baby so I had no idea what a contraction felt like. The nurse was amazing and she showed the printout and when a contraction started she had me feel my belly and sure enough I could feel it tighten and then relax. One of the docs came in and explained they were going to start an i.v. drip to try and stop the contractions and give something to lower my blood pressure. They also reassured me that the baby was fine and he had a nice strong heartbeat. Thank God!!!
The i.v. slowed my contractions but did not stop them so I was now a guest at hotel Moses Taylor. Finally after four days they felt it was safe enough for me to go home on bedrest for the rest of May, June and July. To complicate matters we were suppose to be moving to Ohio in June and I was going to deliver in Ohio. Now there are several doctors in my practice. I saw the majority of them in the four days that I was hospitalized. They each had a different opinion about how to proceed. Some said we could drive to Columbus, some said NO WAY. All I can tell you is listen to all the opinions and as a woman trust your intuition. My gut told me not to go. I was terrified I would have a bleed on the drive there. Two weeks after being home on bed rest I had a major bleed in the middle of the night. My husband rushed me to the hospital. I was greeted by a team of amazing nurses who got right to work stabalizing me and reassuring me. I can't say enough good things about these women. If you have any doubt if God works through others just hang out in a hospital for a few hours. I got to hang out for two weeks. The nurses got me situated and I was now there for the long haul. My mom and little sister came everyday and played games with me and kept me company so I wouldn't lose my mind and of course my husband was there every step of the way. My friends were amazing and my hubby became a pro at sneaking them in. On the sixth day I was awakened by a warm gush of fluid. Not being able to see "down there" I thought my water had broken. I buzzed my nurse and told her such. She said "honey your water can't break" and came flying in the door with a bunch of other nurses. I had bleed again. The doc on call told to remain still but if I bled again they were going to have to do the c-section that day. A few minutes later one of the nurses handed her my lab work. My platelets had dropped down to 60,000. My doctor stated that now the baby was in danger so they would have to do the c-section right away. The anesthesiologist said I would have to have a general anesthetic because I was to unstable to do the section any other way. The baby was 30 weeks old so his chances were very good.
On May 15th at 3:09 p.m. Stephen David Francis was born. He weighed 4lb. 6 oz. and was 16 inches long. The NICU team led my hero Dr. Luis worked on Stephen for 2.5 hours to stablize him and save his life. Meanwhile my doctors worked on me to save mine. I had lost a lot of blood and they were having trouble closing me up. The doctor told my husband they finally had to use staples because it was like trying to stitch jello. I don't think I will ever eat jello again.
I remained in the hospital for 2weeks and Stephen was in the NICU for 5.5 weeks. In June Stephen came home the Monday after Father's Day and Peter's birthday. It was the greatest day of our lives. Our little angel, our little miracle was home!!! Thank God. If you are the parents of a preemie my advice to you is this...#1. Don't beat yourself up. #2 pray
#3 use the people around...they want to help. #4 if you don't like something speak up!!! we loved all the nurses but two of them we spoke to their supervisor and asked they not be assigned to Stephen. This was a big deal for me because I hate confrontation but don't mess with a mama bear and her baby...#5 sleep!!! you will need it...#6 ask as many questions as you want and even ask the same question again and again...the NICU staff is very used to it. #7 hold your baby...even if the nurses make a stink about taking him out of the isolete...there is very strong research to confirm that touch is VERY healing to a preemie...ask about kangaroo care...most docs actually want you to do it. #8 there are good days and bad days...you will cry a lot...it is okay...just remember there is a light at the end.
Two days after Stephen came home we moved to Columbus, Ohio. Our sweet baby is now 11 months old. He is absolutely amazing. He is my little hero. His smile lights up my soul and my joy runneth over!!!
Be well and remember to enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast.
Until next time...
Peace
*please post your tips, suggestions, questions, ideas etc. in the comment section for all to read and benefit from...thanks
